Telling the Truth About My Weight & Showing Evidence of Progress - My Ultimate Black Belt Test Journal

My weight. It's been on my mind as long as I can remember.

First of all, I'm going to say this: I am very healthy. Physically. This is not about the physical. This is not about my physical health. This is about what I see when I look in the mirror. This is about how I think I appear to others. That struggle is so old and familiar to me that it's often hard to recognize which makes it difficult to change.

I identify with overweight and out of place. Even now. I'm not overweight or out of place. I maintain a healthy weight and have certainly found my place. Even though I've lost (more than once) a bunch of pounds and transformed my body from weak to strong...I still struggle. I've realized that I keep myself here because of fear. I'm afraid of not knowing who I am if I let that part of me go. It is what I know.

"You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down."  -Toni Morrison

I've resisted this part of the Ultimate Black Belt Test for the past two years and it's time I let go. I posted about my weight before, but I waited until I was happy. Until I felt ready. I didn't include any photos or what I was eating or how I was exercising, really all I was doing was talking the talk. No evidence. Since then I've gotten clear on what I want from this test: discipline and telling the truth.

So here's the first of my REAL progress posts.
In these photos (that I took today) I weigh 162.2 with 18.6% body fat.

Not bad...but it's not my ULTIMATE either.
It's like this is my off season condition, and game day is coming. So I'm going to get ready...and I'm going to keep you posted on how it's going and exactly how I'm doing it.



What I'm eating: mostly Vegetarian. Not strict. I just like vegetables more and I like meat less. No added sugars. I started this again a few months ago and I really like it. It helps me stick to eating simple, minimally processed food.

Short term food goal: meal prepping

Today's workout: I used my TRX to do 30 (10-10-10) rows and ass to grass squats then ran up and down my street. I'm not sure how far it is, but I ended up with around 13,500 steps for the day. The main idea was to get my heart rate up and move me towards my goal of at minimum 10K steps daily. I did that twice. I also did 50 push ups and a 200 rep ab workout.

Short term workout goal: be consistent

Alabama Build-Vention 2016 Highlights

The Ultimate Black Belt Test requires that I support the annual martial arts "anti-convention" Alabama Build-Vention. I do this gladly. I would attend and support the event even if I wasn't a test candidate.

What is it? An annual charity build event in rural Alabama started by UBBT founder Tom Callos. The event brings martial artists from all over the US and Canada to Greensboro, a small town on Hwy 69 just south of Tuscaloosa. So what's so special about this town? Pam Dorr, and her program HERO Housing. Take a look at the link if you're interested in learning what HERO does for the community there. It's extraordinary.

This was the 12th year of the project. I attended last year for the first time alone, this year I was joined by my student, JD. He's one of my first black belts and I was looking forward to this experience coming back with not only me but a senior student that influences the culture of the studio. He had no idea what he was in for! I explained the event but this is the kind of thing you have to experience to fully understand. He was there to support me, in my work and in my test. I couldn't have asked for more. The discussions we've had during and since are going to make an impact far into the future of Champion Taekwondo.

I took many pages of notes during the talks. Processing those along with thinking about the observations and experiences now that I'm home continue to inspire plans for my future. 

A few of the highlights:

Meeting and talking with Ali Fuller, founder of Level Ground Mixed Martial Arts in Boston. Her program and the way the thinks and talks about martial arts to enrich the lives of young people is revolutionary. She is and example of grit and perseverance on and off the mat.

Getting to hug Cathy Chapaty. We have been virtual friends for a few years now and have shared deeply with each other, but had never physically met. That was a good hug. Being able to talk and work with her was a gift. We have future work to do together which hasn't been revealed, but I know it's going to be good. Soul work. Kindred spirit work.

Reconnecting with the people I met last year was wonderful. It was visiting my tribe.

Being around and soaking in the lessons from one of my teaching heroes, Tom Callos. He is the reason I'm doing this crazy program in the first place. He talks about practicing and teaching the martial arts like nobody else. The language that he uses and the multitude of ideas he gives freely can change the way you think about your work. It certainly has for me.

My biggest take away was watching the young people. Their level of engagement was astounding. It was clear that this was not by accident, it was coming from their time spent in martial arts and the influence of the mentors in their lives. I teach all ages, but really my job is working with young people. I don't think I fully understood the power of that role. This clarity was a thought shift for me, and I know the impact on my program will be huge.